Light after Loss

“I think the first real feeling was shock. I was super shocked. I could not believe it. I thought this just happened in movies. So just shock and confusion. And then once it kind of settled in, I think that I felt devastation and heartbreak. I think I was just baffled. And just kept thinking how can this possibly be?

She didn't know she was gonna die. Because she was killed in a sudden, crazy freak accident. But my mom was often giving me instructions just in case anything ever happened to her. Maybe she was psychic or had a premonition, but she would often say ‘If anything ever happens to me….’

I remember her saying ‘If anything ever happened to me you’d have a line of mothers waiting to adopt you.’ And I said, ‘But I don't want anybody else's mom. I want You.’

In another conversation she said, ‘if anything ever happens to me, I want your dad to be with Sharon.’ Sharon was a family friend whose marriage had ended when we were in high school.
So while I thought my mom saying this was strange at the time, when my dad and Sharon started hanging out, I ended up telling them individually what she had said. Sharing what she had said with them helped them feel more settled and peaceful about their choice to pursue a relationship.

And when my dad married Sharon, my mom’s words felt like a blessing.

My mom’s words set me up for love after her death. So while she isn’t here, I have a great step-mom, a wonderful mother-in-law, and so many amazing women in my life.”
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Laura Jack is a compassionate communication and leadership coach and advanced grief recovery specialist.